


Identity

by blissfall



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, Gen, suicidal steven universe, very angsty oh god
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-27
Updated: 2020-12-27
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:08:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28350639
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blissfall/pseuds/blissfall
Summary: thing i wrote in april kinda vent-ish its old
Comments: 1
Kudos: 16





	Identity

**Author's Note:**

> thing i wrote in april kinda vent-ish its old

No matter how hard Steven worked to get his image to be himself and not of “his” past, it was unbeknownst to him just how many lives were affected by his mother. That,  _ No, I’m not Steven Universe. I’m Rose Quartz _ , and later followed by  _ I’m Pink fucking Diamond! _

He wanted to be himself, but all they could think about is who he was. The present wasn’t important, and that despite his lack of memory, he is still the person that he’s believed to be. 

Leaving him powerless in the face of their… no. Her mistakes. She had good intentions but how she had left her world was in distress and chaos. 

What a joy it must be to be able to leave your past behind with no consequences, so that someone else can handle your problems.

_ I’m Steven _ , he’d cry,  _ I’m Pink Lasagna, but anything other than Pink or Rose! _

And yet the only external factor that would be able to confirm this was his gem, and his gem wasn’t even his own, ultimately making him look like a fool. 

All the gems saw his past, and even though they knew the whole story, they knew him, he knew they wouldn’t care about him had he not been a gem in the first place. 

Greg would’ve been useless to them like he already is, Steven would get a normal human life without being forced to deal with the scars from his mom, and the gems would go on being accused of stars knows what. 

It’s all inescapable, no matter what type of alterations being made to Steven, that the outcome wouldn’t let him stay with the gems. They don’t really care about him, do they? It’s all an act, isn’t it? He knows they want Rose. He wants to give Rose back to them, so that maybe they could finally love him. The intrusive thoughts cross his mind every now and again, his skin heats up bright pink as they rush through him taking down everything else like a dam exploding and releasing the flood of water.

If he could just be who they wanted, maybe he would stop messing up all the time. If he wasn’t here, Connie could continue living her life without being put into danger because of him. She wouldn’t have to deal with his problems, and neither would anyone else. The gems could reconcile with Rose and she could fix her  _ own  _ mistakes without him getting in the way.

But he wakes up, and he’s still there, and he sees the smile the gems have every morning if they’re even there half the time. And he has to keep up his facade too in order to ensure they don’t break down again. 

_ I’m Steven Universe! _


End file.
